I had debated on a suitable picture for today’s posting and had contemplated one which contained some rather tongue-in-cheek political innuendo, thereby hoping to add some “spark” to the blog :).  But then, as memories of  Crick seem to be more and more in the forefront of my thoughts as we approach the six month anniversary of his death, it seemed much more fitting to shine the light on him this time.   Therefore, I decided that the above picture would be, oh so apropos, since he is apparently sending down personal reminders to his extended family as the above picture indicates :).   A few weeks ago. Judy & Bill were driving near their home in Cincinnati when they drove past the above billboard.   Judy made Bill stop the car so she could take a picture of it & then sent it on to me, Jennifer, Megan, Stephanie and Christopher…………..I have since downloaded it & am now using it as my wallpaper on my cell phone.  Now every time I turn on my phone (about a gazillion times a day!!!!), I see his name & am reminded of how he could truly, at times, be that “pain” in the neck who so famously produced the “nut” that I morphed into…….. LOL!!!!!    The billboard is an advertisement for a chiropractic practice, but I honestly think that it is Crick’s very own “Mission Accomplished” sign, if you know what I mean!!! :).

Yesterday, May 2nd, was exactly six months since Crick’s death, and in some ways I still feel his absence as though it occurred just the other day.  Recently I have begun to notice that everyday outings, to mundane places such as the dreaded grocery store, will often produce unexpected pangs of sadness when I return home.  I remember commenting to Crick on more than one occasion, that on any given grocery trip, I would run into certain couples we knew who did their shopping together and suggested to him that perhaps we should try that…………………….I know………………………..can you believe that I even proposed such a preposterous idea???  Of course, he would then always point out that we could find enough things to argue about without resorting to creating a “grocery store incident” (a.k.a.  the “King’s Island, Main Street incident”) by debating in Aisle #1 his preference for the grocery store brand over my preference for the name brand or in Aisle #2 his preference for steak over my preference for pasta or in Aisle #3  his  preference for a gallon container of milk over my preference for two half-gallon containers or in Aisle #4  his preference for one ply tissue over my preference for two ply tissue or in Aisle #5  his preference for choosing any paper towel displaying any decorative design over my preference for just plain white…………………………..OMG…………………………what was I thinking?????………………………………  A-n-y-way, after I would return home (alone!) from the grocery,  I would always purposely create a bit of commotion when I lugged the first bag or two from the trunk of the car into the house so as to make certain Crick knew that the “martyr” had come home.  He would then come out to give assistance with the remaining bags & then help me to put all of the groceries away.   The point of my rambling is, that it is in the ordinarily common-place tasks such as this, that I have reluctantly come to a better understanding of the precise meaning of the words “heartache” and “heartbreak”.   On the most unsuspecting of occasions I can turn and still see his infectious grin and hear his booming voice, and at times, I can, in the silence of a moment, place myself back to that December day, in that instant when the defective Christmas lights miraculously brightened, and I can truly feel his presence.

How I wish that I could not be so impatient with myself as I search for words to give voice to all that lies deep within my heart and soul.  Fortunately, there are others whose words can fill the void, so as to convey the blessing of  God’s merciful comfort and peace which I constantly find through prayer and through the many angels He sends to me.  The relevance of the devotional reading for May 2nd seems to be that voice that I am at this moment seeking:

“Living in dependence on Me is the way to enjoy abundant life.  You are learning to appreciate tough times, because they amplify your awareness of My Presence.  Tasks that you used to dread are becoming rich opportunities to enjoy My closeness.  When you feel tired, you remember that I am your Strength; you take pleasure in leaning on Me.  I am pleased by your tendency to turn to Me more and more frequently, especially when you are alone……………………………..whisper My Name; this tiny act of trust brings Me to the forefront of your consciousness, where I belong.  As you bask in the blessing of My nearness, My life can flow through you to others.  This is abundant life.”                                        (from “Jesus Calling”)

The past couple of weeks have seen many twists and turns in the “life and times of the Schultheis, Wallace, and Baird families” which I will reserve for another post as I did promise to give Crick his time:).  I do however have to mention how Christopher & Jessica’s girls continue to keep me humble!!!!  Today I was driving Sydney to pre-school and as I was stopped at a traffic light, I decided to quickly refresh my make-up (oh vanity of vanities!!).  Sydney asked what I was doing and I explained that I was putting some “blusher” on my cheeks, and she, ever so sweetly, says,………………………………………………. “Oh, is that to cover up your wrinkles????????????!!!!!!!!”………………………………  Somewhere, Crick is howling with laughter!!!!

TNT

TGW